Saturday, October 29, 2011

CAUGHT - Dancing Hot Dog!!!

I tired. I tired so hard to be discreet but I was caught. My plan tonight at the Halloween party was to breakout in dance and do 20 planking posts on TWITER in my HOT DOG costume. I am MEAT ME and I need to represent. I decided I was going to practice tonight by watching the Justing Timeberlake video from SNL on youtube of him in a BEER costume.

So as I attempted to get my grove on I turn around to find my girlfriend video taping my rehearsal. I was caught... Red Handed. ENJOY! You may have to turn up the volume...

Check me out tonight as I attempt to get 20 planking's as a hot dog and post them on twitter to promote my blog.

Party on my friends... And MEAT ME!

Love you ALL,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME aka DANCING HOT DOG!

Friday, October 28, 2011

reMEAT - the Waffle

Being up till late hours of the morning I rarely get the chance to enjoy a breakfast.  So the other day the stars just happen to align and I was given that chance. I couldn’t really thing of anything that was really striking my fancy so I went with the Waffle. I didn’t really feel I like I gave it much justice since it was my first blog write up. I new I ultimately had to get what I got before but some how make it better.

I showed up everything was almost exactly where I left it. I went back to the same counter seat and settled up for what I was hoping was going to be an awesome ride.  All the possible combinations running through my head, but what sticks out is the bacon. Then it clicks. Biscuits and gravy sub the biscuits for waffles and add bacon on top. That was it… the cosmos was now aligned.

The server came, I told her word for word what I wanted, and again got that same look. You know kind of like when a dog tilts its head after you have told it to get you a beer. I said, “Yep that is exactly what I want!”, and to save her time, “Yea not on the side, put it right on top!”.

Perfect! I had no idea what to do while I waited so I ordered the chocolate shake. it too was just as impressive as seeing Mount Everest itself. Super chocolately chocolateness with whip cream fluffed on top, drizzled with chocolate syrup. I was pretty hungry so I knew it wouldn’t be a problem of consumption

So in a matter of minutes I had the mountain of glory. It’s impressiveness what enough to quiet the entire room as the server brought it towards me. After the first bite, I was not only was it just as glorious as last time it had the sound of a choirs singing praise after every bite. The formula was the same except for one more thing, the bacon. The emotions went from salty, to sweet, and then back to salty. That was it! Finally my infinite circle of happiness was all mine.

Once again I could not finish, but marvel rather at it's ingenious existence.

Oh the waffle how you always deliver each time more than the last. So it there is anything I could add to this experience or any for that matter. Just when you think it is perfect, push it a little bit further,  and you might just surprise yourself at how clever you can MEAT ME.

You can read about my previous visit @

You can find out more about The Waffle @

Think outside the biscuits,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Auto Repeat Retards and $6 Dollar Shit!!!

 Its 12:30 pm in the afternoon. I just woke up after being up till 7am working and my ass is starving. What to do… What. To. Do. I know I am out of diet coke so I have to hit Rite Aid and then who the hell knows.  I am getting ready and Buddy the pit-bull is driving me crazy. He obviously has the “cabin fever” and wants out. Buddy always gets what he wants so he’s going.

Locked up and ready to go we hit the Rite Aid on Sunset and Fairfax. I don’t know if this is a new thing but for the last 2 days they have had a parking attendant. Now if you have ever been to this Rite Aid you would know that this is the most messed up thing that they could ever have done. It takes me 20 minutes to buy a diet coke and now they have just added 10 more. Even when they have cashiers at every counter there is still a line to isle 12. So your wait is usually substantial, but at least you have the weird, the crazy, and the attractively over dressed "people of West Hollywood" to keep you entertained for that first 10 minutes.

So now I am at the register and of course with my enhanced A.D.D., due to lack of sleep, I forget about their wonderful new policy of getting validated. So I have to run out to my car with 48 diet cokes. Look for my ticket, that just happens to be in my back pocket.  Piss off the incompetent attendant who can’t remember that I grabbed a ticket from him 10 minutes ago. Walk back into the store and get greeted “Hello welcome to Rite Aide!” by same auto repeat retard who said “Good Bye” to me 35 seconds ago. All of this leaving me standing in front of all 4 store associates ignoring the fact that I have a mother fucking yellow ticket, that they know damn well, needs a shitty ass stamp. Finally someone stamps me, and now I gotta go hand the attendant the ticket when I should have shoved it directly up his ass!

It shouldn’t say “Rite Aid” out front! It should say, “Come and kill yourself right, the fuck, now!” That is exactly what I wanted to do when I was trying to get out of there. Seriously people... Customer service is 50% of the experience! How many times do I have to say this?

The economy sucks right now! Most people are having a hard time going out and spending money. Especially when it comes to things that they need. If we could make at least, that little bit of an experience, that much more enjoyable. It might just entice us to spend a little more money at the store. How do they expect this economy to ever get better?

Movin’ on. I have better things to do… I thought!

So Buddy and I are headed down Santa Monica Blvd., I need to eat, I may get hostile. Looking… Looking… Looking… Nothin’. I finally get to La Brea and I say, "Screw it Carls Jr. it is!". I am just going to have to take one for the team. At this point I have got a knot for a stomach.

I pull up to the drive thru. Normally I get the Super Star with cheese hold the veggies etc. etc. Nope, this time I need something bigger. Like the $6 Onion, Bacon, Cheeseburger! But do I really want those giant fried onion rings on my burger? I am too tired to say other wise, I can just take them off later. In a matter of seconds they greet me, I order, I get to the window, I am greeted again… Boom! Food in the car and I am ready to go. Ya see how easy that was Rite Aid. 90 seconds and no one got suicidal!!!

Then there was the smell… As you can see Buddy was even like WTF!

So I get home. Buddy’s happy, I’m happy… Kinda. I pull everything out on the counter and that giant $6 burger I was building anticipation for what wasn’t even worth a buck fifty. The patty was half the size of the picture. The bacon was limp and the onion rings were so damn small they couldn’t even double as an engagement ring! So unfortunately FAST FOOD and I are getting a divorce! I have learned my lesson of "guaranteed utter disappointment towards instant oral satisfaction".

At that point I wanted to take the bag and put it over my head.

The taste was not horrible, but neither is tooth-paste and you would never eat that. Ever! I did not finish this meal and hopefully this shit burger, wrapped in shit paper, in this shit bag will never touch my lips ever again!

So chances are, if it looks like shit, smells like shit, and takes as long as a shit… The shit probably ain’t worth it, and if you disagree... you can MEAT ME!

You can visit Rite Aid @

You can visit Carl’s Jr @

No, Thank you,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

Monday, October 24, 2011


Seriously fucking brilliant!!! How many times have you woken up at 4 or 5 am in the morning on the day of your own party to start the process of prepping the food. You spend all day preparing each dish from foil wrapped containers in the oven to tupperware in the fridge. But instead you spend the whole night juggling appetizer refreshing, with alcohol consumption – resulting in bed hugging by 9 pm. 

Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for you to throw down your aprons and yell FUCK THAT! This is my party and I am gonna get fucked up if I want too!!!

I share with you the Oasis TKO’s taco stand (Mexican trumpets sound)!

I was lucky enough to be invited to my friend Amie & Kevin’s, house warming engagement fiesta… That it was! A fully stocked bar, taquitos, nacho cheese, cake, cinnamon chips with a variety of dipping sauces, and a mother fuckin’ taco stand, right on their front lawn. 

I walked in the front gate in awe from just the garden.  I can hear sizzling steak. I feel like I am dog sniffing around the front lawn. I look up and my mouth drops straight to the floor. A mother fuckin’ taco fuckin’ stand! I couldn’t believe it. This idea... brilliant. Not only were they able to enjoy the attention of their newly found love, they did not have to serve a damn thing! 

I was still in shock! It’s as if Drew Carey had called my name on the Price is Right! With my open palms on my cheeks I’m thinking, “Is this really for me!” It was a taco stand with my choice of chicken or beef or both. Then on the side, I had the choice of cilantro, onions, and 2 different types of salsa. The best part… All I could eat… Or at least until the party was over!

After one bite of those taco’s I was sitting in a chair on the beach in San Felipe, Mexico. By the third I was a piñata! Yes! “Don’t touch me, I may explode!” It was sensationally dynamite to say the least. Not to mention "impressive" to all the guest. Nothing says “We love our guest!”, more than a taco stand. With that statement I am grateful to have them in my life. They truly are meant for each other, just as the taco stand and I became one.

It’s about 1:30 in the am and I am still getting my drink on (Caffeine free diet coke, my only complaint for the night). The taco stand is long gone – I am enjoying the company of these amazing host’s, still partying like the night was young. Normally from preparation one would be tired and dead by 10pm. Not these two Einstein’s they are enjoying the long journey of their new love life (with cake)!

The key to a successful evening is maximizing guest interaction along with making them feel special. So a word to the wise-ass Rachael Ray Lovers! Think smarter, not harder! Get the taco stand next time. 

Hasta Luego… MEAT ME!

You can find out more about Oasis TKO’s Catering @

You can find out how much I hate Rachael Ray @

Love you guys!
Sean Rice

Sunday, October 23, 2011

reMEAT – Baby Blues BBQ

For lunch I hit McDonalds really quick! I never do that and I thought why not… And then I found out why… Here I was trying to get respect for my taste in food, and shamelessly, as I pull out of the drive-thru… Standing right in front of me was the owner of Baby Blues BBQ. We chatted a bit, and even Buddy my pit-bull was so embarrassed he hopped into the back seat to hide.

I felt so bad I new I had to at least redeem myself for dinner.

I couldn’t stay awake all day but when I woke… Cheeseburgers! That’s all I could think of. I pealed myself off my leather couch and headed back to Baby Blues BBQ. Why go back you might ask? Why the HELL not! 

It was dinner, I was hungry, the lady friend was having a girly night and I needed to reward my body for putting up with the horrible McCrap I ate for lunch. I dove down, parked, and walked in. It. Was. Packed… In a good way. In the past, in order to give places a chance to have a good review, I had spent most of my time going during off peak hours. Mostly to take the time to enjoy their food. I had forgotten what MEAT ME was all about. The EXPERIENCE, and how much fun it was to be around other people that were having just as much fun as I was eating food.

I didn’t even think about asking for a table… I knew being at the bar, was where I wanted to be.  I got my diet coke and ordered “The Willie Brown” it had 8oz prime chuck with American cheese and maple bacon. It it topped with crispy fried onions and sweet bbq sauce. 

Normally I would avoid the fried onions, and in the past I do, but since I was on such a roll with trying new things. I figured this was the right way to go… Right I was. It was like receiving a diploma. I had graduated from convenience to taking the time to enjoy things the way they were meant to be enjoyed .  The burger was nothing but BBQ goodness and the fries were great support. 

No defeats here I finished every bite. It even left me wishing there was more.

So for now all the times I went to places at off peak hours to favor the restaurants. I regret. From now on I will do things the way they were meant to be done.

If you try to cheat in life you will FAIL, and if you don’t believe that you can all go and MEAT ME!

To read the read the rest of my first visit @

To find out more about Baby Blues and their locations @

Keep It Real,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

reMEAT – Baby Blues BBQ

Saturday, October 22, 2011

I’m gonna go get FOOD WASTED!!!

That is exactly the mission I was set out on. I got off the scale and realized that I had some how lost 9 lbs. Alleluia! Lets celebrate! So recently I noticed a restaurant downtown, was following me on Twitter called the Stray Cat Café. It was one of my first followers so I thought I owed it to them to go and check it out. 

I head out to downtown around 3pm. I figured I would head down there when there was no traffic and maybe it won’t be busy either.  I get in the car and with a 20 minute drive I figured I would make some phone calls. I glanced at the GPS  a few times to make sure I was on track but for the most part I had a general idea of where this place was. So I’m talkin’, talkin’, talkin’, talkin’, talkin’, talkin’, and I have no idea where I am some how there are lines of homeless people on both sides of the street with trash and pigions flying everywhere. I’m lost (thanks Jay). I have no idea where I am but I need to get out of there quick. I make a few turns and hewf… I am in the clear. 

I turn and bam! There it is Stray Cat Café, right on the corner. Parking? Right out front, $3 no problem (its better than $6 or $8). I walk in and it really has a coffee shop/café vibe. Really mellow. Cool artwork on the wall’s. I am guessing they have internet, the man behind me was on his laptop.

The person working there was really cool, sweet, and nice! I was handed a menu and thought… What does one eat at the Stray Cat Café? She told me. They are known for their Cheese Steak sandwiches. The Man vs Food challenge enlarged on my menu. I thought... that would be awesome! I got so excited and she shot me down. Good thing she did. She says, ”Yea it is so hot and spicy you won’t even enjoy it. I recommend the Mexican Cheese Steak!” So that is what I ordered. She even explained that it too could be very hot but she would put in a good word with the cook – to be nice to me.

It was not before long and this Macy’s day parade float was on the table wrapped up in front of me like a present. Ohhhhh what was waiting for me inside? I opened it up and it looked inviting. It had frilled rib eye, fresh jalapeños, sautéed peppers and onions, cilantro, jack cheese, topped with their own special salsa, and chipotle dressing. Plowing this thing down made me feel like a UFC wrestler. It took some work and every bit was worth it. In the end it was not too spicy. It wasn’t until the second half that I started sweating.

A few people I know would come in here, get the same sandwich, and say, “It was ok, I don’t know what MEAT ME was talking about!”  Well I will explain. The name out side of the restaurant says Stray Cat “Café”. It is not a bar, cafeteria, canteen, chophouse, diner, doughtnut shop, drive-in, fast-food place, greasy spoon, grill, hamburger stand, hashery, hotdog stand, or nightclub. It is a café. So for a café the food was awesome! All the flavors were there, nothing out of the ordinary, but better than what I expected. For $13 it was great food and I ate the whole damn thing! Haven't done that in a while.

If you want to hate something, then hate the website. I go to the web site to get the address and it is impossible to find. Don’t get me wrong, may be it is just me, but how hard is it to put a locations button, or the address right at the bottom of the page. Not until I clicked on the Contact page did I find the address and a link to a map. 

As I have said before and I’ll say it again, “I should not have to struggle to find a good place to eat!” The easier you make it for your customers to find you, the easier it will be to enjoy your food.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I am just sharing with you mine. 

Haters are always gonna hate! And if you hate just to hate you can MEAT ME!

You can find out more about Stray Cat Café @

Stay wasted,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Im too SEXY for ME MEAT!

That is exactly what it feels like when you eat really tasty food. Especially at ¡Lotería! Grill. You feel sexy. You are taking the time to enjoy and savor every. Single. Bite.  You feel like the entire restaurant is focused on you. Some are even shocked and awed.  You are almost nervous that everyone is going to approach you at any moment and ask you for some – almost as if they find you completely irresistible. But none of this is gonna happen if you can’t find fucking parking! My GOD!

Seriously, I don’t know, may be its me. It took me 20 to 30 minutes to finally give up and have the over priced, eight dollar valet guy park my car. I am on Hollywood Blvd. and there is no parking on either side of the street from 6pm to 6am, go figure. There is a parking structure on N. Cherokee Ave. but I think its $10 (I am not 100% sure).

I intended on being there at 10pm but by the time I was in the door it was about 10:23pm after pictures of course.  Going late to a restaurant does have its benefits. I walk in, there are just a few tables seated. The manager was quick to greet and seat. He says, “Where ever you want and I’ll follow.” How do you like them apples Rosa Mexicana!

Immediately they asked me what I wanted to drink, and then brought me chips and salsa. Rosa Mexicana 0, ¡Lotería! Grill 3 – suck it Rosa! I was handed 4 menus: the food, the 3-course meal, the specials, and the drinks. It was a bit over whelming handing me this encyclopedia of delights. I was here on a referral, thank you Jenny P., and I was told to have the giant tower of cheese aka the Chicharron de Queso. I asked the waiter what they were known for and he recommended the shrimp tacos and that’s just the type of meat I was looking for. Then I get the question… “Mild, medium or spicy?” Yea I’ll take my taco’s hot mister. As he walks away my spicy shoulder pads deflate. I will soon get owned.

That is such a loaded question because everybody’s gauge is different. Does anyone have a solution for this? I would love to hear it.

This all happened in about 1.3 minutes so in driving time I was on my third U-turn. Now Jenny built up this “Tower of Cheese” to be so huge that a small village could live inside of it. So ladies and gentlemen I bring you my first MEAT ME video.

Pretty suspenseful, I know. But at least you can see how they make it and it saves me 35 words explaining it. My carpal tunnel thanks you.

By this time the service is so quick and snappy I feel like I am saying thank you every 10 seconds. Do you like this? Some people don’t but for this place it is just the way I like it. Plus it makes me feel sexy!

So with my Cheese Tower I get 2 sides, salsa, guacamole, and some corn tortilla’s. I put them all together and take a bite… nothing. Not a whole bunch of flavor, but some. I got to make my second one and BANG there it is. The flavor is hiding in the middle of this cheese village. It's so good I have to have 2 more… Yeah and 4 more taco’s are coming. I am starting to understand that this was meant for more than one person.

By this time I am so sexy it feels like the chef is checking me out, or because I am taking pictures of my mouth while I eat. Either way I’m pretty sure it is because... I reek of sex appeal!

The score, Rosa Mexicano 0, !Lotería! Grill 10,000. Rosa has basically been reduced to the equivalent of a hot pocket. !Lotería! Grill has already won in my book – and am in now way trying to compare the two. But, Rosa’s has good food and everything else sucks (I have got Jenny P. to back me up on that one).

So it's nice to see that the little things can make an experience magical. Now the shrimp tacos arrive and they look like synchronized swimmers on a plate really to party in my mouth! Taco one, taco two, at this point they are delicious. A little more sauce than I am used to, but it is another one in the bag.

Now I am on my third taco and the shit is spicy. Yes… I referred to this amazing food as “the shit” and I still think it’s retarded good! You can see the sweat bullets on my face. My admiring chef approaches and asks, “Sir, is it to spicy?” I reply with my spicy shoulder pads completely gone (mouth full of food), “This-is-the-way-I-like-it!”

I am sure she could see the BS coming out of my ears. She even chuckled. How could you not laugh at this pathetic white dude? I am sweating at the counter taking pictures of myself. I would be in tears laughing. But, I am pretty sure it was once again the sexiness of the food that made me so damn approachable.

Not even this sexy beast could finish the fourth taco. At $35, $47 with tip (cause they were awesome) the bill was a little high but I didn’t mind, I felt I had earned it.

However I could not look at the half eaten taco as a defeat, because I was too SEXY for ME MEAT!

Ya! I said it!

Sean “Sexy” Rice

P.S. I found out later on that !Lotería! Grill makes their own tequila, and has incredible deserts. There you have it!  2 more reasons to go and check it out! Enjoy!

P.P.S Alright you people. I get over 200 of you guys visiting per day. And non of you have anything to say in the comment's section. Please... Please take the time to let me know what you like, and don't like. Even a simple "I like" will do the trick. I really wanna bring you guys things that your interested in, rather than me just going off on things that strike my fancy. Speak up damn it! Or places like iHop may be next. And... Thank You for taking the time out of your day to visit MEAT ME. I appreciate your feed back. Live long and eat meat!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The Dirty Girl Chili Hangover

It’s hot out there. Like chili cheese dog hot. I am headed down Sunset Blvd and I feel like I’m in the middle of a western. Waaa Wiiaaa Waaa…. Hooooeeeeooooeeeoooo... When I put my hand on the door handle I heard a sizzzzz! Ok, done with the sound effects. It’s about 108 – 110 degrees outside. Most people might go and get an ice cream or milk shake – not me I want it hotter. I need me some chili cheese happiness. Carneys is the only solution!

I parked the car, and thanks to the heat, it wasn’t packed. Thank GOD! As I get out of my car I hear the chirping of the all the cabbies hanging out next door in the empty parking lot.  They’re actually quite loud, yelling at each other. They sound like chickens in a chicken coup. BaaaaaaGock! Sorry, I know I promise…

Anytime I arrive at a place filled with chili goodness I have the dilemma of the hot dog versus the hamburger. Here you can pretty much have a hot dog any way imaginable. So… What to get? I am never sure – so when in doubt order both. That is exactly what I did. I never like vegetables with my meat. For me it’s a texture thing.

Right before I approach the counter a man holds up 2 frozen bananas and dips them in chocolate.  Being a meat guy who doesn’t like fruits either (surprise) dipping fruit in chocolate is the equivalent of giving me the finger. Now I can’t eat it. Who’s idea was this? I don’t go to vegan restaurants and eat ribs while staring in the window – what the hell is their problem? It’s bad enough there are vegetables at my meat restaurants, now the fucking fruit wants in? F-them, in the spirit of Shaquille O'Neal rejecting a 3 pointer… Get that shit out!

Moving on! As I do at every restaurant I get my custom order on, “Double chili cheese burger – mustard, chili, cheese… ONLY. Chili cheese dog – mustard, chili, cheese only, medium french fries and a large diet coke.” That’s how you do it, and they will never screw it up. Unless it is my name, which every place screws up. Chan, John, and in some cases I even get the occasional Seen.

I wouldn’t consider myself a history buff, but I have a bit of an obsession about how things came to be. I like to imagine what it would have been like to live here during that time – or why some genius might come with some crazy idea. Take Carney’s for example, why would someone wanna take 2 train cars and move them to Sunset Blvd, and then configure them in a way that you could sell hot dogs and hamburgers out of them? How cool would it have been to stand across the street and watch them put this together? It would have been the coolest thing ever!

I’m ready to pay and the price ain’t that bad – even for a touristy spot. It is just under $20 bucks. I think about eating inside, but I really want the full effect of the western so I sit outside – don’t worry they have shade. whew.

Usually I suggest you get an extra side of chili to spoon on top of the burger and dog before every bite – but this place always puts on the right amount of chili. As I look down at my chilidog, she closely resembles a gorgeous women waiting in bed. After I take that first bite, I look and my mind takes me to even dirtier places – from that point on I shall call her “The Dirty Girl”. As I get half way around this racetrack of a meal – I realize this stuff is heavy. It’s not your usual watered down chili. This chili means business. After each bite, I take a moment to let every single taste bud appreciate its goodness. Approaching the finish line I can just feel myself filling up.

The fries are good but they are left in the shadow of the epic chili. At this point my capacity is at 99.3 %. Sadly I am going to have to call this one early. I sit and look at the box in defeat. The food won again. Having forgot my food I.V. at home the remaining food will have rest into the can of losers.

I try to pull myself together to leave. I stand up and it hits me… the chili grease has entered my blood stream. This known as the “Chili Hangover.” The signs of a chili hangover are: slow movement, rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, and thoughts of food causing nausea. In some cases it can result in the forbidden regurgitation of food.

The trip to the car compared to that of a defeated boxer’s walk of shame. In many cases it’s not always about winning, but more so the journey along the way.

For now all I can do is rest off this hangover and prepare for the next match and until then… MEAT ME!

Thank you,
Sean Rice

You can find out more information on Carneys locations @

I am now introducing a icon system to help you better know what is available at each location.
The link that explains the icons is on the bottom right hand side under pages labeled icon key.

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