Secrets Revealed: The Path To Chili Enlightenment

Featuring Doze the guest master himself. Ever since I was in high school I have always had a love for music. Some of my fondest memories were in band. I played the tuba and I was proud of it. I was not your typical band dork (at least I like to think that). I was in great shape, on occasion I rode a motorcycle and I carried the appetite of the entire band on my shoulders. On Wednesday nights we had band practice from 5 to 8:30pm. What was a high schooler to do with all that time? Study? Nope, EAT!  

My band director and mentor Marcos Mendoza (aka Doze) shared my love for food and music. Often times there were only a hand full of us hanging out after school waiting for practice. Doze would offer to take us out for food. These places included McDonalds, In-N-Out, and Tommy’s. I remember on one occasion I wanted to get a 9 by 9 at In-N-Out Burger, he thought I as crazy and said, “If you eat the whole thing I will pay for it.”

Not only did I finish this thing I got French fries and a drink to show I had the gut for glory. I have so many fond memories of not being able to move during practice because of what I ate for dinner. Like any champ I never had any issues with it coming back up. Unless you count the time the wrestling team turned me upside down into a trash can (which was not by choice) I had a perfect record. The unfortunate benefits of having the band room next to the weight room.

Thanks to playing tuba any cool factor I may have possessed was gone. Food challenges were nothing to be ashamed of. In high school you might be able to make fun of me but I could have devoured your lunch before you were done beating me up.

Since I have started this blog I knew it was missing something and that thing was advise of Doze. He taught me everything I know about eating at Tommy’s. When I was a young freshmen in high school we often went on afternoon trips to Tommy’s. Being the noob that I was I would order the double chili cheese burger with extra chili, chili cheese fries, and a large diet coke. Doze would sit there and laugh at me as bite after bite the chili would fall right off of the burger. This often left me with barley any chili and more meat and cheese than I new what to do with… I would look at Doze and say, “I don’t get it... what am I doing wrong?”

He said, “Oh you have so much to learn young grass hopper!”

And I am thinking what is this guy talking about? He said, “Sean you’re doing it all wrong. Don’t order extra chili on your burger. Your just going to waste it. Order the chili boat (a side of chili) and grab a spoon. Peal back the burger paper, get a spoon full of chili, and put it right on top of the burger before each bite. Do this each time and every bite will be filled with happiness!”

It was like the clouds opened up and I saw the light. From that point on my life had been changed forever. Not only that, but I had extra chili for the fries that did not have any on them. Never was I robbed of chili again.

With eyes wide open I could see the genius that was Doze. I had no idea why all these kids followed him around doing whatever he wanted them to do… The myth of the legend was true... Doze Knows. This man had the answers to everything, and being the sponge that I was... I needed to know.

So what better way to honor and respect him than break chili burgers and diet cokes over dinner. Having read the blog Doze agreed to do dinner and let me share his secrets of chili enlightenment with the world.  I arrived around 8 pm and he was about 30 minutes late. Which is normal and would not have been the same if he was not. We ordered the trifecta. Double chili cheeseburger, mustard, chili cheese only, french fries, and a large diet coke. Not to forget the chili boat with cheese only (for me). In a matter of minutes the food was ready and we carefully escorted it to the table. Doze, the master that he is, grabbed the paper towels. It was bad enough we forgot our bullet proof vest to this part of town… No paper towels could have been fatal!

Step one: Pull the burger paper back. Step two: Get a scoop of chili. Step three: Place the chili right over the area where you are going to bite. Step four: Enjoy! Step five: Repeat steps one thru five. It was awesome! It felt just like that musical montage from Zoolander where all the male models are laughing hysterically and pouring gasoline all over each other. I felt just like that. We looked and smiled at each other after every bite visually confirming the epic-ness of our oral satisfaction. After the second scoop I said, “This is just like reloading a gun…” he replied, “Pointed directly at your heart!” We both laughed.

Tommy’s is so life changing that everybody and there mom is trying to rip them off. There is Tomy’s Tommies, Tomee’s the list goes on forever. There is only one way to know you are at The Original Tommy’s. When you get the chili boat let it sit for about 60 seconds, you will notice a 1/16 of an inch layer of grease over the top of the chili. That is Original Tommy’s. That is the sign of perfection. Not to mention about an hour after you have eaten... you should feel a slight chili hangover. The sign is being a little sluggish in your step.

Our dinner eventually came to an end. As sad as it was for both us, happiness was consuming every ounce of joy on our tray. As time passes some of the best memories I have were over food. To be honest I would not trade it for anything anything in the world.

Who knows what memories our future will hold until we MEAT again.

To find your Original Tommy’s Locations go to
http://www.originaltommys.com/

Meat Memories,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME

The Dirty Girl Chili Hangover

It’s hot out there. Like chili cheese dog hot. I am headed down Sunset Blvd and I feel like I’m in the middle of a western. Waaa Wiiaaa Waaa…. Hooooeeeeooooeeeoooo... When I put my hand on the door handle I heard a sizzzzz! Ok, done with the sound effects. It’s about 108 – 110 degrees outside. Most people might go and get an ice cream or milk shake – not me I want it hotter. I need me some chili cheese happiness. Carneys is the only solution!

I parked the car, and thanks to the heat, it wasn’t packed. Thank GOD! As I get out of my car I hear the chirping of the all the cabbies hanging out next door in the empty parking lot.  They’re actually quite loud, yelling at each other. They sound like chickens in a chicken coup. BaaaaaaGock! Sorry, I know I promise…

Anytime I arrive at a place filled with chili goodness I have the dilemma of the hot dog versus the hamburger. Here you can pretty much have a hot dog any way imaginable. So… What to get? I am never sure – so when in doubt order both. That is exactly what I did. I never like vegetables with my meat. For me it’s a texture thing.

Right before I approach the counter a man holds up 2 frozen bananas and dips them in chocolate.  Being a meat guy who doesn’t like fruits either (surprise) dipping fruit in chocolate is the equivalent of giving me the finger. Now I can’t eat it. Who’s idea was this? I don’t go to vegan restaurants and eat ribs while staring in the window – what the hell is their problem? It’s bad enough there are vegetables at my meat restaurants, now the fucking fruit wants in? F-them, in the spirit of Shaquille O'Neal rejecting a 3 pointer… Get that shit out!

Moving on! As I do at every restaurant I get my custom order on, “Double chili cheese burger – mustard, chili, cheese… ONLY. Chili cheese dog – mustard, chili, cheese only, medium french fries and a large diet coke.” That’s how you do it, and they will never screw it up. Unless it is my name, which every place screws up. Chan, John, and in some cases I even get the occasional Seen.

I wouldn’t consider myself a history buff, but I have a bit of an obsession about how things came to be. I like to imagine what it would have been like to live here during that time – or why some genius might come with some crazy idea. Take Carney’s for example, why would someone wanna take 2 train cars and move them to Sunset Blvd, and then configure them in a way that you could sell hot dogs and hamburgers out of them? How cool would it have been to stand across the street and watch them put this together? It would have been the coolest thing ever!

I’m ready to pay and the price ain’t that bad – even for a touristy spot. It is just under $20 bucks. I think about eating inside, but I really want the full effect of the western so I sit outside – don’t worry they have shade. whew.

Usually I suggest you get an extra side of chili to spoon on top of the burger and dog before every bite – but this place always puts on the right amount of chili. As I look down at my chilidog, she closely resembles a gorgeous women waiting in bed. After I take that first bite, I look and my mind takes me to even dirtier places – from that point on I shall call her “The Dirty Girl”. As I get half way around this racetrack of a meal – I realize this stuff is heavy. It’s not your usual watered down chili. This chili means business. After each bite, I take a moment to let every single taste bud appreciate its goodness. Approaching the finish line I can just feel myself filling up.

The fries are good but they are left in the shadow of the epic chili. At this point my capacity is at 99.3 %. Sadly I am going to have to call this one early. I sit and look at the box in defeat. The food won again. Having forgot my food I.V. at home the remaining food will have rest into the can of losers.

I try to pull myself together to leave. I stand up and it hits me… the chili grease has entered my blood stream. This known as the “Chili Hangover.” The signs of a chili hangover are: slow movement, rapid heart rate, increased blood pressure, and thoughts of food causing nausea. In some cases it can result in the forbidden regurgitation of food.

The trip to the car compared to that of a defeated boxer’s walk of shame. In many cases it’s not always about winning, but more so the journey along the way.

For now all I can do is rest off this hangover and prepare for the next match and until then… MEAT ME!

Thank you,
Sean Rice

You can find out more information on Carneys locations @

http://www.carneytrain.com/

I am now introducing a icon system to help you better know what is available at each location.

The link that explains the icons is on the bottom right hand side under pages labeled icon key.

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'BLACK SWAN SAUSAGE" - Chili Addiction

Today is Sunday, and in the fall in America it is usually associated with Football. Being the fantasy football owner that I am (and by no means am I any good) that can only go with 2 things, Hot Dogs and Chili. There are tons of places in LA that serve all types of this quintessential American meal. I have found this place  and I believe it dives way deeper into all the possibilities a Chili Cheese dog can be and more. I bring you Chili Addiction. The name pretty much says it all.

Now off the bat, I don’t want to confuse anyone. They don’t serve Black Swan Sausage, I just finished watching the movie and there were way to many parallels between that movie and my day. 

After the excitement of last night’s meal (or lack there of), the Misses decided to join me for some football food. Chili Addiction was not too crowded, but I give it about 6 months before I’ll see a line all the way to the Beverly Center. I could see this especially if they ever got some TV’s in there to watch some football (Hint, Hint). Unfortunately, their place is not very big (crowd boooo’s). So I would understand why they don’t have TV’s… get ‘em in, feed ‘em, and get ’em out.

But if there is a line to order, no worries, there are enough options and chili combinations on the menu to keep you deciding for a while.… Short line today, so I had to make it quick. I told the wonderful man behind the counter that I like ground beef chili. I also like the bean chili so I was thinking of getting a hot dog with each. He so kindly started to explain the different chilies… but being the ADD person that I am. I went right to the item on the menu in black bold italics that said Triple Truffle Blackout. It had Caramelized Onions, Homemade Truffle Aioli, Homemade Truffle Mustard, and Asiago Cheese.  Poor guy, I interrupted him “All that chili stuff you just told me about… is that on the website?”  He replied, “Yea!”, I said, “Good, I’ll have this one, and I am also gonna have…”

He stopped me right there. He said, ”Wait that’s the Triple Truffle its HUGE. Why don’t you have that and if your still hungry later, get something else!” This man saved my life and room in my fridge. My lady also got the Coney Island for us to share.

Now let me explain something. As many restaurants as I have been to. I have never familiarized myself with the term “Truffle”. Since I was little kid I associated truffle with the mental picture of a ballerina’s tutu (don’t ask me why, it just did). My sisters wore tutu’s, and I wanted nothing to do with that. So I have never eaten anything that had to do with truffle (I know I am weird, don’t ask me why).

So now that I got that out of the way, the bill came to about $48 bucks. I’m a sucker for a cool T-shirt so subtract $10, for 3 dogs and a soda, and you got yourself a deal. They have a lot to offer and they make everything home made and I mean everything. They even make their own ice cream and have a fridge that just sold their different kinds of chili. They are constantly coming out with new kinds of chili’s so who knows how many they actually have (It says more than 70 on the wall).  That’s serious fuckin’ dedication!

All the employees of Chili Addiction are very, very helpful. They love to geek out on anything and everything CHILI! And that’s just the type of people I wanna be ordering from. The atmosphere is great.

In COMING!!! Here comes the food, it was literally looked like he brought me half of a pool tube. This sausage was huge. We shared the Coney Island Dog with Main Line Chili, Wisconsin Cheddar Cheese, their fantastic homemade Yellow Mustard, and raw onion. My girl also got herself a Truffle Dog.

The Truffle Dog was awesome, just fitting that thing in my mouth was half the fun. It tasted like culture and tons of flavors exploding everywhere in my mouth. I felt if I had a giant beer next to me I’d feel like I was at Oktoberfest in Germany.  The “shared” Coney Island Dog was a roller coaster. I was having a hard time getting off of it… Yes, I did share, but it was hard.

When I started to think about the over all experience I realized that there was a lot going on there. It was hard to take it all in. Literally. I was left speechless when I walked out the door. My girl and I did a lot of eye rolling and starring. Ahh…. Ummm…. Yea… Absolutely. I was so full, I don’t think there was enough blood left in my brain, for me to come up with something to say. So at least I had time to think about it.

At home I had the movie Black Swan left over from Netflix, so my love my made dinner and we cuddled up to that. It too ended with a lot of ohh’s… hum’s…. and what the fucks. Once again at the end we stared at each other... speechless. 

Then It Hit Me!

Just because you have nothing to say doesn’t mean that it’s bad. The movie was amazing…  and so was the food.

So on certain one-of-a-kind occasions the best thing you can say… is saying absolutely nothing at all _ _ _ _  _ _!

BONUS WARNING! You may be over whelmed. But there is a plus to this… You get to come back and try something else the next time! Win… Win… I could spend forever reviewing this place.  Businesses like this are so smart. They keep adding new things, taking things away and bringing things back. Keeping the menu fresh keeps people coming back for more.

You can check out Chili Addiction at

http://www.chiliaddiction.com

Please note they are vegan friendly and are closed on Monday (Probably to make more chili).

They are located at:

408 N. La Cienega Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90048

After thoughts & Thanks:

Its somewhat amazing how you can spend all day wondering how things are going to work out and some how they just do. For instance all of the thoughts in my head have to be configured in a way that convey what it is that I am trying to tell you. I have to put those thoughts into words and then those words into an order that help you understand what exactly it is that I am trying to say.  Its pretty amazing to stop and think that we actually do that.

I have always been a visual person so communicating with people through words is new and very hard for me. It’s like learning a new language all over again.  I have always communicated through music, acting, and art. So everyday this blog is like mentally walking through a dark cave with a flash-light. I get to explore and find out new things about myself everyday, and I can only thank you for that. I appreciate your patience with my grammar.

So, Thank you!

MEAT ME

Sean Rice

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