Thursday, December 22, 2011

"THE GIFT OF MEAT!" - Petit Jean Meats

Please note: The football packages are only available at their sister company: 

Don't be that JERK this Holiday Season. I get Deluxe Dallas Cowboys Meat Package form Petit Jean Meats I just think they are a great gift idea for people who love meat!!!

Here is their Facebook Page!
Go get it PEOPLE!

Happy Holidays,

Monday, December 19, 2011

Go With Your GUT!

Well it is that time year! No, not the holidays that’s for everyone else. I am talking about Fantasy Football! By now you have a pretty good idea of weither or not you are going to make the playoffs. I am not. This is always a given right after I draft my players. I usually look at my roster and think. WTF! What the hell happen what was I thinking. Like this year the only player that really worked out was my kicker. It is only my 3rd year  and I am still learning, spread sheets, and all.

Ladies I am sure you are wondering why should I keep reading from this point on. The answer is, from one patient listener to another you need to know the stress that us MEN face on a daily basis. It’s important that you are sensitive when we break down because Jamal Charles is out for the season or Plaxico Burress won’t be playing this season because he shot himself in the leg. ESPN is our TMZ, Aaron Rodgers is our Kim Kardashian. We have a lot more in common that you think. Sometimes we need you to be our bro and not our problem solver.

So now it is that other time of year. Like I said last week burger joints are popping up everywhere and on Sunset Blvd you now have the wonderful Burger Joint. I figured I would make this fun and do a sit down with my friend and rival Matt Fite. I knew somewhere inside this, 6 time champ and 12 team fantasy owner, where some solutions to how one might make it into the playoffs.

I pulled up and walked in and this place was looking fresh. It has the fun of a burger stand and the vibe of The Standard Hotel. Very! Very! Fun! It was a place you would take group or individuals to go eat some midday lunch or a meet up for dinner before a night of dancing. I grabbed a seat there was no need to wait or ask for seating. After I sat down and turned around an entire team of UPS drivers were dying to get their burger on!

Soon enough my nemesis walks through the door! I can tell he, like I, needed to eat. We get in line and I notice right away these employees are lovin’ their jobs. There were so excited and bubbly to greet us and get exactly what we need. I look up at the menu and all their beef burgers are made from grass feed beef, the buns are made with unbleached floor, and the cheese is white cheddar or American. The soda’s are also all their own. I decide to get the beef with cheddar, grilled onions and the half and half of fries and onion rings. Fite decided on the Turkey Burger (health nut) with the Mexicane Soda and of course got the diet soda. Anything else? Of course I need the chocolate shake. All of this food for just under $40 bucks. Now that is want I am talking about. Normal pricing. Take that Short Order!

We get our number and went right to our table. They have this little device that you put the number in and pull out. It lets them know what table your at and if you need anything you just press the service button. Brilliant! I need one of these in the bedroom! Just kidding, Love You Honey!

Once settled I got right to the Fantasy Football questions…

MEAT ME: "When did you first find out about Fantasy Football?"

Matt Fite: "Wow... you're taking me back. It was my first year in California 1994. I was invited by a roommate to join the California Dream League. A league I am now the commissioner of. There have been so many changes since then. I remember my first draft pick of any fantasy draft ever; it was WR Jerry Rice and it was the 6th overall pick."

MEAT ME: "What was it about Fantasy Football that sucked you in?"

Matt Fite: "I like the idea of managing a sports franchise; albeit a virtual one. All sports fans have thought at one point or another. If I were the GM of "that team" I could turn them around. Whether it be while watching Free Agency periods of the draft. In fantasy football you get the opportunity to be the power broker... It also gives you something to root for or against in virtually EVERY NFL game.. not just the one's your favorite team is involved in."

MEAT ME: "So with that said most people (i.e. me) have a hard time managing just one fantasy team. How does one get involved with 12 Fantasy Football Teams?"

Matt Fite: "Well it doesn't happen over night. For over 10 years I only managed 1. Then I did two. Then 3. Once I hit 4-- the transition to 12 wasn't all that difficult. Most of my leagues are CBS gold leagues with $30 buy ins and $200 winner take all payouts. You just check in once a day when you have time... watch the waiver wire etc. It helps when you can work from home and set your own hours. That's for darned sure."

*note: My chocolate shake came at this point and it was so delicious that this point I am mumming the questions to Matt. It was not super rich. Just Right! Nice and thick like a shake should be.

MEAT ME: "How much time would you say you put in per day/week doing research, setting line-ups, and trades for your fantasy leagues?"

Matt Fite: "It's tough to quantify that on a day to day basis... preseason draft prep is the most time consuming. During the regular season? Maybe an hour on average... but some days none at all. I mean I'm not a professional fantasy football player."

MEAT ME: "If you, a 12 team fantasy owner does not consider yourself a "professional" what would you consider yourself? What does it take to be a professional?"

Matt Fite: "I guess it isn't about how many leagues your in as much as how much is on the line to me. A "professional" in my eyes could make a living off of his winnings. My leagues are relatively low stakes. It's like playing poker to me. Playing a $20 a week even if you play it online doesn't make you a professional. But playing in big stakes tourneys is the determining factor to me."

MEAT ME: "So it’s Sunday morning it is 9:30 am and you have all 12 line ups set. How do you know you have made the right decisions?"

Matt Fite: "My friend Eric who is a number and stat obsessed money manager and fantasy football rival in two leagues and I always argue over player values.  I tell him routinely that while I prone to vote Democrat in elections that my approach to fantasy football is right out of George Bush's neocon playback.  I don’t need no stats or facts.  I go with my gut."

MEAT ME: "How many championships have you won with that GUT?"

Matt Fite: "Yikes... I dont know if I remember... 3 CDL, 1 XGL, 2 CBS Gold Leagues... so at least 6... and still in the running for 3 Gold line leagues next week."

MEAT ME: "So what are the most titles you have won in one season?"

Matt Fite: "I've won two leagues in a season before. Getting to the playoffs takes a lot of skill and a little luck. However winning the championship game takes a lot of luck and a little skill. It's all about winning two weeks in a row against two of the other best teams in two of the most unpredictable weeks of NFL action what with team having clinched playoff seeding in some cases and resting star players."

MEAT ME: "What is your most memorable Fantasy moment?"

Matt Fite: "Winning my first title for sure!"

MEAT ME: "Was it a close call or did you win by a mile?"

Matt Fite: "My first title? I believe it was a healthy margin without quantifying it as "a mile."

MEAT ME: "What advise would you give someone interested in getting into Fantasy Football?"

Matt Fite: "Oh that's easy. Try to pick players you like whenever possible, avoid chronically injured guys, and have fun. It's a game."

On that note the food came. Matt and I waste no time and dig right in. It's really, really good. Matt is very satisfied with his Turkery burger and I am just loving mine. This is what you can expect from cows that are grass feed. This is a fattier beef and that just tastes better. There is no need to over season, the beef will flavor itself plus the onions were just the right touch! Matt says his Turkey burger was just as tasty. It is nice when you don’t feel like you are suffering by not ordering beef. The onion rings and fries come in a paper cup. A little rings on top, fries in the middle, and more rings on the bottom. Love That. They are very nice and a little crispy. Not over or under crispy, just right. I hate places that leave these items sitting in the frier because they are busy doing other things. At this place they care.

The atmosphere is awesome. It smells of success and I wish Matt the best of luck in the rest of his leagues in the playoffs. I am being nice because he is in last place in my league (laughing inside). The experience was awesome and with all that shake left I am going to have to “Go with my GUT!” and finish it another time. Be merry and MEAT ME!

For more information on Burger Lounge go to:

Find our more about Matt Fite at:

No Guts, No Glory,
aka Sean Rice

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Don’t get frustrated with your FOOD!

Yes don’t! You could ruin your experience. You might as well take your food, throw it on the floor, pick it back up and try and eat it. Good luck with that. I see burger joints popin’ up left and right. I mean they are everywhere. This trend definitely has Los Angeles by the balls. In LA restaurants open and close as often as your mouth. One day something is open the next it is closed. It is really hard to keep track of. Often it’s the same owner, they open up, get bored, close it, and open something else. Gotta be on trend I guess.

So last week I was driving on Sunset Blvd and I saw a place called the Burger Lounge. I went back the next day and found out it was not open yet. One of the construction guys said it would be open this Friday. I emailed the owner asking him when it would be open he said Monday, and he would love to get me some food on the house for my review. I politely declined and said no worries my reviews are not just about the food, they are about the experience. I got it, and if you don’t figure out its me with the camera I will leave you my card on the way out.

So I went back a 3rd time on Monday, I even twitted to them that I was going. I got there and they were still doing construction. Some one guy said to me that they are open tomorrow. Today is that day. I went down there for the 4th time around 1:13 pm and I still see them working on a few things, but they have servers now. Probably training but they told me they would be open tonight… Sorry I just can’t do it. Maybe Friday like the original guy told me. I don’t blame them completely but what are you going to do. Uggggggg! It is what it is. Nonetheless I am frustrated.

I did read a review from (awesome blog by the way!) about Short Order that opened (When I did The Farm I was looking for it. Turns out it was on the other side of the Farmers Market, I know I am a tard!) at the Farmers Market.  So I decided to go there. It is Holiday Season so the parking lot is full to the brim so I have to park at The Grove and walk all the way back.

By this time my already hungry girlfriend is starving and is now in hunting mode. So I am sure you can guess my frustration level is like an 8 out of 10 now. I am even walking faster. We arrive and I of course need to take pictures of the outside. So I try to avoid the eager beaver from getting in my shots, well saying it in the nicest way possible of course!

So I snap a few off and we head in. Now they have an upstairs that we did not check out, or this little out side area. I figured I would pick the closest possible seat to avoid sharing any decision making.  Plus the lighting was very nice so that made it easy too.

We sit down and how nice the place matt is the menu and I notice right away that this is one of these fancy themed restaurants that likes every little thing to be trademarked to their brand. Also they are out the butt organic. This place is great so far just remember I am frustrated! So they have all their own organic sodas. Not the normal Diet Coke that I was hoping for (its like my crutch) so I stay positive and think of this as an opportunity to try something new so I get the Cream Soda and a water. It comes in one of their fancy jars… Lovely.

Now at this time it is cold (to the girlfriend) and the wind is picking up equaling more frustration because now we have to strap down whatever comes to the table.

One thing I did notice around me is that wither people were eating or waiting for food everyone was really happy. The people that worked there were very pleasant which is very nice to experience and easy on my frustration. It is time to order and I go strait for the “What is your most awesomest thing and they said… blah blah blah with bacon and I said I will have that! It is the Nancy’s Backyard Burger. A beef blend with artisan bacon, comté, avocado, tomato, onion, iceberg, spicy mayo. Laura got the Tuna Melt described as being flaked albacore, mayo, chives, cheddar, comté. At this point I need food. I don’t care what it is. I need to eat before I punch someone in the face! Sooooooo I also get the short order spuds, “old school” fries, and a chocolate flavored custard shake to help myself feel better.

In a mater of minutes that shake is on my table and in my mouth! That shit was heaven! It was an absolute spot hitter. It was a sexy, heavy, Strauss Dairy, SUPER SUPER rich chocolate custard shake. To be honest after a few sips I never got it back from the girlfriend (My fault I was taking pictures.).

It could have been a minute or two later and the food was here. Great service always makes me feel better. You would be proud of me for the second time in a row I had them leave the vegetables, but after Jim Gaffigan’s tweet of, “Lettuce on a cheeseburger is like a fat guy in shorts.” I think that trend with me is fading fast. Who knows we’ll see.

I made Laura wait so I could grab some shots of her tuna melt (which is fresh albacore poached in house) and lets just say that it was the equivalent of putting a raw t-bone in front of a lion and telling him to pose for a picture. It is a bad idea and someone is going to get hurt. Especially when they have not eaten all day.

We both took our bites and looked at each other and it was like we fell in love all over again. Tasty, juicy, flavors, after every bite, a real party in my mouth. Some crunch from the veggies but that’s ok. I tired Laura’s T-melt and it was, as she said, “Really light and fluffy!”

The tuna and the bread really complimented each other well, and it wasn’t pack full of vegetables like I hate. So this was probably one of the best I have ever had. The burger was everything I wanted it to be. Even though Laura was so cold she was almost wearing all of my clothes, with rising blood sugar, the outlook on life was looking a lot better.

The fries and spuds were delish and super duper crunchy too. They really did a nice job with the spuds. Crispy outside and soft squishy inside, just like me. It was kind of the perfect meal.

Yep except for a few fries the entire table was demolished and soon was my wallet. I got the bill it was $47.03 with tip $55.03 total. Ouch. I was not expecting that at all… May be high $30’s but I guess I ordered a lot of stuff, and I am paying for organic.

Trust me I love organic. Fatten those cows up I want that juicy beef, but it hurts me to have to pay for it. So until I can make some more money to afford more food you can go and MEAT ME!

You can find out more about Short Order at:
They wanted me to share with you that they are now offering an Adult milk shake called "Charlie Brown"
Vanilla Custard Peanut infused 114 proof Old Grand Dad, house made chocolate ganache & salted peanut sauce, finished with toasted peanuts.

Shut up and EAT,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

Saturday, December 10, 2011

“I’m not leaving without sticking that Schlong-Dog in my mouth!”

I was in shock. It was the biggest fucking hot dog I had ever seen. I walked into to The Fat Dog and I asked the waitress what food they were known for? She mentioned a few things, we ordered, we sat down and the guy sitting next to us gets this GINORMOUS hot dog. I’m in shock! He looks at me and says, “Yea want to take a pictures of this?”

I pointed my camera in the air snapped a few photos and when the waitress came back I told her I needed to have one of those.

It was a nice Thursday afternoon Laura and I decided to get out. Tons of people have been telling me about this butcher shop on Fairfax called Lindy & Grundy and that I needed to go check it out. The shop opened up about 8 months ago and is run by two young women. The idea is that all the meat is organic and prepared right there in the butcher shop. This place has everything. Lamb bacon, pork bacon, beef bacon, as well aged meat they prepare right there on the spot…

I have been interested in doing an interview with Amelia and Erika to launch my pod cast next year. So I wanted to introduce myself and see if they would entertain the idea of me doing a blog post, photos, and a pod cast. They were a bit busy at the time so Laura and I decided to get something to eat. Next door was a coffee shop called the Commissary and then right next to that was The Fat Dog. Screw it! Let’s check it out.

It was only 3pm so it wasn’t really busy but I could imagine on a Friday night that this place would be hoppin’. We checked out the menu and I saw meat so it was good enough for me. The server said to sit wherever. The booths were nice and big and long. Perfect for the big boys like me.

I asked the server what they were known for on the menu. She said everything was very good, she pointed out the Jalapeño Mac and Cheese. So we got that; you can add hickory-smoked bacon and crab, so of course I added both. She also recommended a dish called “The Flight” it was 3 different mini burgers (1) Bacon & Guacamole (2) Mushroom & Swiss (3) Caramelized Onions & Gruyére. We got that as well and decided to wait and see how we felt afterwards to decide if we might want more (I always want more but she is in charge!).

Our drinks came quick Laura got the Coronado Islander (IPA) and I of course got the epic diet coke. I was told the beer was tasty with a kick but smooth on the way in. Medium, not too heavy, a great compliment to the food, and a perfect excuse for a nap afterwards.

The vibe here is really nice and laid back. They have wifi (password is the phone #) it is not too busy, not dead, but just enough people watching to entertain you while you work. The food came quickly and it looks marvelous. The mac and cheese was nice and stringy with chunks of bacon, minimal crab, and just enough kick to remind you there are jalapeños in it. It is not too wet or dry, but just perfect. Eat it too quickly and it may get a little spicy. Very little crab, not enough for me to get excited over but just enough flavor for sure.

The burgers were nice little handfuls of tastiness. There is a hint of extra flavor in each burger, just enough to go well together, but not enough to have to take a break between. The fries were crisp, thin, and simple. You could tell lots of love went in to those dishes and the cook wanted you to know that.

So as we where sitting there eating I see the waitress walk over to another table near us with a GIANT (at least 18”) hot dog with a bunch of little topping dishes next to it. I mean it was huge… This was the John Holmes of Hot Dogs. You knew it meant business and at the same time couldn’t stop thinking about how phallic it was. I knew right away I wasn’t leaving with out sticking this Schlong-Dog in my mouth.  So the second I saw the server I said, “Yea, I need to have what he is having!”

In minutes I had the most hung hot dog I had ever seen right in front of me. Lets just say yea Laura was jealous. She was already full from all the food so sneaking a bite wasn’t an option. The dog came with a side of ketchup, mustard, onions, pepperoncini, relish, and jalapeños. The flavor wasn’t anything special, it was your typical beef hot dog and standard bun, but all in all it was a complete blast.

The whole experience was awesome. The fun getting to take on something that everybody is starting at. That is what I call “Shock Food” people come from all over just to see someone eat it. The only issue is more often than not it ends up being all about the shock value and not about the flavor. I just wish there was some flavor pay off to eating this gigantic hot dong.

If I am going to get stared at for shoving something that big in my mouth I at least want the taste to be the pay off. Unfortunately I was not able to finish, but left with just a few scraps on the table.

So if it is not always about the prize, and more about the journey along the way I recommend you journey to The Fat Dog and see if you can finish this impressive beast of a hot dog… And if you can’t you can go MEAT ME!

For more information on The Fat Dog go to:

I went back to Lindy and Grundy and they are totally into the idea of doing a feature with me. So make sure you look for that next month. In the mean time you can check them out at:

Me Love You Long Dog,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

Monday, December 5, 2011

The Story of the Lettuce and the Hair…

Could vegetables make my meat taste better? I have been in denial for so long. I had even avoided the combination on vegies and meat at the same location/restaurant. I just hated it. Literally could not stand it. Every cheeseburger I have gotten since I could remember was just beef with mustard, mayo, and cheese. All that and it was heaven. Until NOW!

Laura, my girlfriend (Yes! I finally said her name, I am tired of coming up with pronouns to describe my better half.) and I were out trying to have lunch at the much talked about Animal on Fairfax (BTW why does the northern part of Fairfax look like a dump?). Well couldn’t find it and when I called they were closed for a private party. So that was the end of that. I figured we would head to the “Grove” down the street and see what they had. I knew there was a burger place opening up, in the farmers market. Of course it is not open till the 18th. I can’t remember the name. So shit out-of-luck again. I remembered something about The Farm Restaurant, Beverly Hills right next to the movie theater, I heard it was not bad so third time is a charm.

The weather was not to chill so we sat out side… My nice camera was with my friend Tony in Japan (that thing has been more places than I have) so I am stuck with my little Canon digital elph. I need as much light as I can get.  They sat us outside and my chair was right on top of a pole. So we moved everything over. I am a big guy and the place was pretty open so they stick the fat guy in the tight corner between the post and the table. Back in the day when I hosted we actually thought about people. We didn’t just stand there on a smart phone spewing out insecure garbage to random people on Facebook hoping someone will like me. We were aware of people’s personal space and how they would be most comfortable.

The menu here is pretty basic and they claim to use only the freshest farm food locally and organically grown. Even the hair that comes with it! (Hold on I am getting to that.) I could not find anything that really grabbed my eye so I asked our waiter what was the shit on the menu (You know what there known for!) He recommended… The Ahi 3 ways, boring had that before. Something else (can’t remember, it was boring and then the Buffalo Blue Burger… Organic buffalo, melted blue cheese, fresh and oven-roasted tomatoes, caramelized onions, butter lettuce & mayo on a King’s Hawaiian sweet roll. I stopped for a second. Now I could take all the veggies off, I always do that but what would it taste like if I left everything on … Fuck it! I can always take it off.

Laura got the Pear & Brie half sandwich with a cup of cauliflower soup. Drinks came quick service so far, pretty good. FYI they clam local and organic which I am not doubting, but I can’t remember the last time I have seen an actual Buffalo in the area of LA so I am guessing locally caries a wider definition than mine. I am not nit picking, just taking note (Laura says they have buffalo on Catalina Island).

I look over and this seven foot black women walks buy and there are 2 paparazzi following her clicking off camera’s going nuts. They follower her all the way up to the door harassing her with questions.  She goes in and they stand outside and wait for her to come back out. It looks like stalking. Now I have no idea who this is (if any one knows tell me) but it just seems crazy to live like that. You must really have to love what you do to put up with that. Cause let me tell you there are days that I am out-and-about in a horrible mood (when I am haven’t eaten of course) and if someone even looks at me in a weird way I snap. I could not imagine having that type of self-control with people that in-your-face!

Most of the time “The Grove” is a very nice and peaceful place. This is the first week in December and this place is pretty chill. Even the babies are pretty quiet, probably because they know Santa is watching. In general this is a great place to come and enjoy a nice day. The music is always season appropriate.

The food comes and this burger is stacked, Laura’s sandwich is oozing sex. I mean look at it that is a sexy sandwich. Yes I am talking about the sandwich. My burger is so gorgeous. It really is colorful. The whole presentation overall is very exciting. I pick it up and I kid you not. It was like holding a little puppy. I loved it but I was so unsure with all the vegetables. It looked like a lot of veggies. I had the same feeling I did as a kid right before I might dive into a pool for the first time… Scared to death! So I bit in. Laura said my eyes opened wide like I had pooped my pants. It was like I discovered something for the first time. It happened, this burger was bully I finally confronted. It wasn’t that the buffalo meat had no flavor, it’s that the cheese and veggies made it so much better. There I said it!

It was the difference between watching Avatar on a 16” television in standard definition versus watching it in 3D on a 72” HD television. The movie itself is awesome but in 3D on a big television in high definition it’s fucking captivating. Just like this burger.  The French fries were like that kiss you get right after sex. The perfect compliment.

Laura’s sandwich just about melted in her mouth. All except for the bread, it was tasty and she let me have a bite. Her soup was described as tasting just like Christmas. So between the location, the temperature, and the flavor nothing could be better.

So I am done right? No! I am finishing off my fries and I look and notice a big ginormous hair. It gives me the chills just thinking about it. I finally found a place to enjoy a nice day and then the record scratches and it is all over. Why? Why did it have to end like that? I really wanted to believe that it was mine (I can feel the acid building in my stomach that’s how grossed out I am) but my hair isn’t black and neither is Laura’s. So it had to be theirs.

I could have complained but everything was just so perfect. My newfound love for meat and veggies together was so exciting and I didn’t want it to be about this stupid fucking hair. GOD I have goose bumps writing about this. I did not say a word about it. I just tipped and left. Sure, if I wanted to make the meal about one horrible hair I could but that was up to me and I decided to make it about the meat. It should always be about the meat!

I figured eventually people would call me on it and I would have to eat my meat with veggies anyways (They do rave about it sometimes). At least this way I got to do it on my own. So this week I encourage everyone to try something they haven’t eaten since they were a kid. In the way that the people we grew up with look different now, may be flavors will taste different in your mouth.

Please share your renewed food stories on Facebook @ I would love to hear about food you hated as a kid but love now or you can go MEAT ME!

You can find out more about The Farm Beverly Hills @

Make it about the MEAT,
Sean Rice

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