Go With Your GUT!

Well it is that time year! No, not the holidays that’s for everyone else. I am talking about Fantasy Football! By now you have a pretty good idea of weither or not you are going to make the playoffs. I am not. This is always a given right after I draft my players. I usually look at my roster and think. WTF! What the hell happen what was I thinking. Like this year the only player that really worked out was my kicker. It is only my 3rd year  and I am still learning, spread sheets, and all.

Ladies I am sure you are wondering why should I keep reading from this point on. The answer is, from one patient listener to another you need to know the stress that us MEN face on a daily basis. It’s important that you are sensitive when we break down because Jamal Charles is out for the season or Plaxico Burress won’t be playing this season because he shot himself in the leg. ESPN is our TMZ, Aaron Rodgers is our Kim Kardashian. We have a lot more in common that you think. Sometimes we need you to be our bro and not our problem solver.

So now it is that other time of year. Like I said last week burger joints are popping up everywhere and on Sunset Blvd you now have the wonderful Burger Joint. I figured I would make this fun and do a sit down with my friend and rival Matt Fite. I knew somewhere inside this, 6 time champ and 12 team fantasy owner, where some solutions to how one might make it into the playoffs.

I pulled up and walked in and this place was looking fresh. It has the fun of a burger stand and the vibe of The Standard Hotel. Very! Very! Fun! It was a place you would take group or individuals to go eat some midday lunch or a meet up for dinner before a night of dancing. I grabbed a seat there was no need to wait or ask for seating. After I sat down and turned around an entire team of UPS drivers were dying to get their burger on!

Soon enough my nemesis walks through the door! I can tell he, like I, needed to eat. We get in line and I notice right away these employees are lovin’ their jobs. There were so excited and bubbly to greet us and get exactly what we need. I look up at the menu and all their beef burgers are made from grass feed beef, the buns are made with unbleached floor, and the cheese is white cheddar or American. The soda’s are also all their own. I decide to get the beef with cheddar, grilled onions and the half and half of fries and onion rings. Fite decided on the Turkey Burger (health nut) with the Mexicane Soda and of course got the diet soda. Anything else? Of course I need the chocolate shake. All of this food for just under $40 bucks. Now that is want I am talking about. Normal pricing. Take that Short Order!

We get our number and went right to our table. They have this little device that you put the number in and pull out. It lets them know what table your at and if you need anything you just press the service button. Brilliant! I need one of these in the bedroom! Just kidding, Love You Honey!

Once settled I got right to the Fantasy Football questions…

MEAT ME: "When did you first find out about Fantasy Football?"

Matt Fite: "Wow... you're taking me back. It was my first year in California 1994. I was invited by a roommate to join the California Dream League. A league I am now the commissioner of. There have been so many changes since then. I remember my first draft pick of any fantasy draft ever; it was WR Jerry Rice and it was the 6th overall pick."

MEAT ME: "What was it about Fantasy Football that sucked you in?"

Matt Fite: "I like the idea of managing a sports franchise; albeit a virtual one. All sports fans have thought at one point or another. If I were the GM of "that team" I could turn them around. Whether it be while watching Free Agency periods of the draft. In fantasy football you get the opportunity to be the power broker... It also gives you something to root for or against in virtually EVERY NFL game.. not just the one's your favorite team is involved in."

MEAT ME: "So with that said most people (i.e. me) have a hard time managing just one fantasy team. How does one get involved with 12 Fantasy Football Teams?"

Matt Fite: "Well it doesn't happen over night. For over 10 years I only managed 1. Then I did two. Then 3. Once I hit 4-- the transition to 12 wasn't all that difficult. Most of my leagues are CBS gold leagues with $30 buy ins and $200 winner take all payouts. You just check in once a day when you have time... watch the waiver wire etc. It helps when you can work from home and set your own hours. That's for darned sure."

*note: My chocolate shake came at this point and it was so delicious that this point I am mumming the questions to Matt. It was not super rich. Just Right! Nice and thick like a shake should be.

MEAT ME: "How much time would you say you put in per day/week doing research, setting line-ups, and trades for your fantasy leagues?"

Matt Fite: "It's tough to quantify that on a day to day basis... preseason draft prep is the most time consuming. During the regular season? Maybe an hour on average... but some days none at all. I mean I'm not a professional fantasy football player."

MEAT ME: "If you, a 12 team fantasy owner does not consider yourself a "professional" what would you consider yourself? What does it take to be a professional?"

Matt Fite: "I guess it isn't about how many leagues your in as much as how much is on the line to me. A "professional" in my eyes could make a living off of his winnings. My leagues are relatively low stakes. It's like playing poker to me. Playing a $20 a week even if you play it online doesn't make you a professional. But playing in big stakes tourneys is the determining factor to me."

MEAT ME: "So it’s Sunday morning it is 9:30 am and you have all 12 line ups set. How do you know you have made the right decisions?"

Matt Fite: "My friend Eric who is a number and stat obsessed money manager and fantasy football rival in two leagues and I always argue over player values.  I tell him routinely that while I prone to vote Democrat in elections that my approach to fantasy football is right out of George Bush's neocon playback.  I don’t need no stats or facts.  I go with my gut."

MEAT ME: "How many championships have you won with that GUT?"

Matt Fite: "Yikes... I dont know if I remember... 3 CDL, 1 XGL, 2 CBS Gold Leagues... so at least 6... and still in the running for 3 Gold line leagues next week."

MEAT ME: "So what are the most titles you have won in one season?"


Matt Fite: "I've won two leagues in a season before. Getting to the playoffs takes a lot of skill and a little luck. However winning the championship game takes a lot of luck and a little skill. It's all about winning two weeks in a row against two of the other best teams in two of the most unpredictable weeks of NFL action what with team having clinched playoff seeding in some cases and resting star players."

MEAT ME: "What is your most memorable Fantasy moment?"

Matt Fite: "Winning my first title for sure!"

MEAT ME: "Was it a close call or did you win by a mile?"

Matt Fite: "My first title? I believe it was a healthy margin without quantifying it as "a mile."


MEAT ME: "What advise would you give someone interested in getting into Fantasy Football?"

Matt Fite: "Oh that's easy. Try to pick players you like whenever possible, avoid chronically injured guys, and have fun. It's a game."

On that note the food came. Matt and I waste no time and dig right in. It's really, really good. Matt is very satisfied with his Turkery burger and I am just loving mine. This is what you can expect from cows that are grass feed. This is a fattier beef and that just tastes better. There is no need to over season, the beef will flavor itself plus the onions were just the right touch! Matt says his Turkey burger was just as tasty. It is nice when you don’t feel like you are suffering by not ordering beef. The onion rings and fries come in a paper cup. A little rings on top, fries in the middle, and more rings on the bottom. Love That. They are very nice and a little crispy. Not over or under crispy, just right. I hate places that leave these items sitting in the frier because they are busy doing other things. At this place they care.

The atmosphere is awesome. It smells of success and I wish Matt the best of luck in the rest of his leagues in the playoffs. I am being nice because he is in last place in my league (laughing inside). The experience was awesome and with all that shake left I am going to have to “Go with my GUT!” and finish it another time. Be merry and MEAT ME!

For more information on Burger Lounge go to:
http://burgerlounge.com/

Find our more about Matt Fite at:
http://www.marketinggigs.com
http://www.funeraldirectoryusa.com

No Guts, No Glory,
MEAT ME!
aka Sean Rice

“I’m not leaving without sticking that Schlong-Dog in my mouth!”

I was in shock. It was the biggest fucking hot dog I had ever seen. I walked into to The Fat Dog and I asked the waitress what food they were known for? She mentioned a few things, we ordered, we sat down and the guy sitting next to us gets this GINORMOUS hot dog. I’m in shock! He looks at me and says, “Yea want to take a pictures of this?”

I pointed my camera in the air snapped a few photos and when the waitress came back I told her I needed to have one of those.

It was a nice Thursday afternoon Laura and I decided to get out. Tons of people have been telling me about this butcher shop on Fairfax called Lindy & Grundy and that I needed to go check it out. The shop opened up about 8 months ago and is run by two young women. The idea is that all the meat is organic and prepared right there in the butcher shop. This place has everything. Lamb bacon, pork bacon, beef bacon, as well aged meat they prepare right there on the spot…

I have been interested in doing an interview with Amelia and Erika to launch my pod cast next year. So I wanted to introduce myself and see if they would entertain the idea of me doing a blog post, photos, and a pod cast. They were a bit busy at the time so Laura and I decided to get something to eat. Next door was a coffee shop called the Commissary and then right next to that was The Fat Dog. Screw it! Let’s check it out.

It was only 3pm so it wasn’t really busy but I could imagine on a Friday night that this place would be hoppin’. We checked out the menu and I saw meat so it was good enough for me. The server said to sit wherever. The booths were nice and big and long. Perfect for the big boys like me.

I asked the server what they were known for on the menu. She said everything was very good, she pointed out the Jalapeño Mac and Cheese. So we got that; you can add hickory-smoked bacon and crab, so of course I added both. She also recommended a dish called “The Flight” it was 3 different mini burgers (1) Bacon & Guacamole (2) Mushroom & Swiss (3) Caramelized Onions & Gruyére. We got that as well and decided to wait and see how we felt afterwards to decide if we might want more (I always want more but she is in charge!).

Our drinks came quick Laura got the Coronado Islander (IPA) and I of course got the epic diet coke. I was told the beer was tasty with a kick but smooth on the way in. Medium, not too heavy, a great compliment to the food, and a perfect excuse for a nap afterwards.

The vibe here is really nice and laid back. They have wifi (password is the phone #) it is not too busy, not dead, but just enough people watching to entertain you while you work. The food came quickly and it looks marvelous. The mac and cheese was nice and stringy with chunks of bacon, minimal crab, and just enough kick to remind you there are jalapeños in it. It is not too wet or dry, but just perfect. Eat it too quickly and it may get a little spicy. Very little crab, not enough for me to get excited over but just enough flavor for sure.

The burgers were nice little handfuls of tastiness. There is a hint of extra flavor in each burger, just enough to go well together, but not enough to have to take a break between. The fries were crisp, thin, and simple. You could tell lots of love went in to those dishes and the cook wanted you to know that.

So as we where sitting there eating I see the waitress walk over to another table near us with a GIANT (at least 18”) hot dog with a bunch of little topping dishes next to it. I mean it was huge… This was the John Holmes of Hot Dogs. You knew it meant business and at the same time couldn’t stop thinking about how phallic it was. I knew right away I wasn’t leaving with out sticking this Schlong-Dog in my mouth.  So the second I saw the server I said, “Yea, I need to have what he is having!”

In minutes I had the most hung hot dog I had ever seen right in front of me. Lets just say yea Laura was jealous. She was already full from all the food so sneaking a bite wasn’t an option. The dog came with a side of ketchup, mustard, onions, pepperoncini, relish, and jalapeños. The flavor wasn’t anything special, it was your typical beef hot dog and standard bun, but all in all it was a complete blast.

The whole experience was awesome. The fun getting to take on something that everybody is starting at. That is what I call “Shock Food” people come from all over just to see someone eat it. The only issue is more often than not it ends up being all about the shock value and not about the flavor. I just wish there was some flavor pay off to eating this gigantic hot dong.

If I am going to get stared at for shoving something that big in my mouth I at least want the taste to be the pay off. Unfortunately I was not able to finish, but left with just a few scraps on the table.

So if it is not always about the prize, and more about the journey along the way I recommend you journey to The Fat Dog and see if you can finish this impressive beast of a hot dog… And if you can’t you can go MEAT ME!

For more information on The Fat Dog go to:
http://www.thefatdogla.com/hollywood.html
Twitter https://twitter.com/thefatdogla

I went back to Lindy and Grundy and they are totally into the idea of doing a feature with me. So make sure you look for that next month. In the mean time you can check them out at:
http://lindyandgrundy.com/index.htm
Twitter https://twitter.com/lindyGrundy

Me Love You Long Dog,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

The Story of the Lettuce and the Hair…

Could vegetables make my meat taste better? I have been in denial for so long. I had even avoided the combination on vegies and meat at the same location/restaurant. I just hated it. Literally could not stand it. Every cheeseburger I have gotten since I could remember was just beef with mustard, mayo, and cheese. All that and it was heaven. Until NOW!

Laura, my girlfriend (Yes! I finally said her name, I am tired of coming up with pronouns to describe my better half.) and I were out trying to have lunch at the much talked about Animal on Fairfax (BTW why does the northern part of Fairfax look like a dump?). Well couldn’t find it and when I called they were closed for a private party. So that was the end of that. I figured we would head to the “Grove” down the street and see what they had. I knew there was a burger place opening up, in the farmers market. Of course it is not open till the 18th. I can’t remember the name. So shit out-of-luck again. I remembered something about The Farm Restaurant, Beverly Hills right next to the movie theater, I heard it was not bad so third time is a charm.

The weather was not to chill so we sat out side… My nice camera was with my friend Tony in Japan (that thing has been more places than I have) so I am stuck with my little Canon digital elph. I need as much light as I can get.  They sat us outside and my chair was right on top of a pole. So we moved everything over. I am a big guy and the place was pretty open so they stick the fat guy in the tight corner between the post and the table. Back in the day when I hosted we actually thought about people. We didn’t just stand there on a smart phone spewing out insecure garbage to random people on Facebook hoping someone will like me. We were aware of people’s personal space and how they would be most comfortable.

The menu here is pretty basic and they claim to use only the freshest farm food locally and organically grown. Even the hair that comes with it! (Hold on I am getting to that.) I could not find anything that really grabbed my eye so I asked our waiter what was the shit on the menu (You know what there known for!) He recommended… The Ahi 3 ways, boring had that before. Something else (can’t remember, it was boring and then the Buffalo Blue Burger… Organic buffalo, melted blue cheese, fresh and oven-roasted tomatoes, caramelized onions, butter lettuce & mayo on a King’s Hawaiian sweet roll. I stopped for a second. Now I could take all the veggies off, I always do that but what would it taste like if I left everything on … Fuck it! I can always take it off.

Laura got the Pear & Brie half sandwich with a cup of cauliflower soup. Drinks came quick service so far, pretty good. FYI they clam local and organic which I am not doubting, but I can’t remember the last time I have seen an actual Buffalo in the area of LA so I am guessing locally caries a wider definition than mine. I am not nit picking, just taking note (Laura says they have buffalo on Catalina Island).

I look over and this seven foot black women walks buy and there are 2 paparazzi following her clicking off camera’s going nuts. They follower her all the way up to the door harassing her with questions.  She goes in and they stand outside and wait for her to come back out. It looks like stalking. Now I have no idea who this is (if any one knows tell me) but it just seems crazy to live like that. You must really have to love what you do to put up with that. Cause let me tell you there are days that I am out-and-about in a horrible mood (when I am haven’t eaten of course) and if someone even looks at me in a weird way I snap. I could not imagine having that type of self-control with people that in-your-face!

Most of the time “The Grove” is a very nice and peaceful place. This is the first week in December and this place is pretty chill. Even the babies are pretty quiet, probably because they know Santa is watching. In general this is a great place to come and enjoy a nice day. The music is always season appropriate.

The food comes and this burger is stacked, Laura’s sandwich is oozing sex. I mean look at it that is a sexy sandwich. Yes I am talking about the sandwich. My burger is so gorgeous. It really is colorful. The whole presentation overall is very exciting. I pick it up and I kid you not. It was like holding a little puppy. I loved it but I was so unsure with all the vegetables. It looked like a lot of veggies. I had the same feeling I did as a kid right before I might dive into a pool for the first time… Scared to death! So I bit in. Laura said my eyes opened wide like I had pooped my pants. It was like I discovered something for the first time. It happened, this burger was bully I finally confronted. It wasn’t that the buffalo meat had no flavor, it’s that the cheese and veggies made it so much better. There I said it!

It was the difference between watching Avatar on a 16” television in standard definition versus watching it in 3D on a 72” HD television. The movie itself is awesome but in 3D on a big television in high definition it’s fucking captivating. Just like this burger.  The French fries were like that kiss you get right after sex. The perfect compliment.

Laura’s sandwich just about melted in her mouth. All except for the bread, it was tasty and she let me have a bite. Her soup was described as tasting just like Christmas. So between the location, the temperature, and the flavor nothing could be better.

So I am done right? No! I am finishing off my fries and I look and notice a big ginormous hair. It gives me the chills just thinking about it. I finally found a place to enjoy a nice day and then the record scratches and it is all over. Why? Why did it have to end like that? I really wanted to believe that it was mine (I can feel the acid building in my stomach that’s how grossed out I am) but my hair isn’t black and neither is Laura’s. So it had to be theirs.

I could have complained but everything was just so perfect. My newfound love for meat and veggies together was so exciting and I didn’t want it to be about this stupid fucking hair. GOD I have goose bumps writing about this. I did not say a word about it. I just tipped and left. Sure, if I wanted to make the meal about one horrible hair I could but that was up to me and I decided to make it about the meat. It should always be about the meat!

I figured eventually people would call me on it and I would have to eat my meat with veggies anyways (They do rave about it sometimes). At least this way I got to do it on my own. So this week I encourage everyone to try something they haven’t eaten since they were a kid. In the way that the people we grew up with look different now, may be flavors will taste different in your mouth.

Please share your renewed food stories on Facebook @ http://www.facebook.com/meatmeblog I would love to hear about food you hated as a kid but love now or you can go MEAT ME!

You can find out more about The Farm Beverly Hills @
http://thefarmofbeverlyhills.com/

Make it about the MEAT,
Sean Rice
aka MEAT ME

Got to get my MEAT on!

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“Yep. Yep. Yep.”, that’s all she had to say. I ordered the Caramelized rabbit leg, scallops and prime rib. Not a... Is that all? How would you like that cooked? Nothing! She was a bit bitchier than I usually like my bartenders but what do you expect from a hangover.

So it’s Saturday and this week my GamerFood partners and I launched GamerFood.com. We offer snack foods that are enfused with caffeine and taurine made specifically for us Gamers. With that all wrapped up my girlfriend got us tickets to Comikazie in downtown Los Angeles. I never usually go to events like these. This is mainly because of the “uncomfortable geek” factor. It is not that I am any better (Geeks Rule, I am one!) but as a Geek I relate better in smaller groups – and at this event there were hordes of them… in costume… acting in character. The convention, I believe, is attempting to be the LA version of Comicon. For its first year out, not bad, but it has a ways to go. It honestly felt more like Halloween at Costco.

Being that we were all ready in downtown my lady wanted to try something new. Someone from her work recommended the Lazy Ox Canteen. I could not wait. After all of that walking I needed to get my MEAT on. We parked in the lot next door and walked right over. We did not know we needed reservations but they were kind enough to offer us dinner at the bar.

This place had a really cool look to it, a very rustic vibe. To be honest I felt like a real cowboy as I mounted my bar stool. It was a little tight but that is usually expected in restaurants downtown. We were handed menus.On the top it said Diner Menu and in the middle it said Chalkboard Specials. I had no idea if the top was appetizers and the bottom was main dishes. It was not very clear but the chalkboard on the wall said Chalkboard Specials. I asked the bartender if I had the dinner Menu she said, “Yes!” She was quick to ask us our drinks and repeatedly wanted to know are order. Giving me the impression that she wanted us to get it over with.

I asked her what kind of meat they were known for and she explained that the menu changes daily (with the expatiation that I was already supposed to know that) but she did recommend the whole roasted branzino and the scallops. Both are seafood dishes in case she “didn’t already know that.” But maybe… I wasn’t specific enough... so that ones probably on me.

On her 4th time around we finally (how dare us) ordered the caramelized rabbit leg, 10oz niman ranch ribeye, and the seared bay scallops with parsnip. As I ordered she replied, “Yep, yep, yep!” So pleasant! As she’s putting in the order I had to yell, “Can I get that medium rare?” Guess what she replied? “YEP!” She obviously did not want to be there, nor did she want us their either. She was being some what of a Lazy Ox if you know what I mean...

The overall restaurant was awesome I can’t wait to go again, but that bartender’s hangover could have ruined our whole night (over heard her explain it to a regular). Its one thing when your drinking ruins your own night, but when it starts to ruin the customers… Someone needs to double check their priorities. I get it if you like to go out and get fucked up, I am totally for it, but do it when you don’t have to work the next day. I believe that falls under the “Drink Responsibly” umbrella.

As much as there is a customer code of ethics, there is also a bartender code of ethics. By this I mean, not only was she rude and short, she had a co-worker giving her a nice shoulder rub down by the register. I wanted to throw something at them! Are you serious? This is a nice restaurant (For $110 it better be)… Come on! Just as much as I am supposed to hold myself back from, saying “Bitch, What’s with the attitude!”, throwing something at her, or having a full on make-out/rub-down session with my girlfriend.   I expect the wait staff to at least be pleasant and act professional.

Thank God the food came because I was about to throw up in my mouth! First the Rabbit, which was amazing. I joked about it tasting just like chicken. The lady friend was bit worried about bunny flavor, but it was very pleasant. Then came the ribeye and the scallops.  The presentation was fantastic. It was so beautiful it made me feel respected. Almost as if the food was looking its best for me. After the first few bites I couldn’t stop the motion of shoving meat into my mouth.  It was probably the juiciest piece of meat I have ever had (seriously)! Then I hit the scallops. They were like squishy buttery balls of goodness. The spices in the butter made me want to stick a straw in it and start sucking. I could not get enough. At this point I was dipping everything in it. I was in heaven and it felt like at least the chef had respect for me.

The bartender had become more and more attentive throughout our meal. So quick to refill my diet cokes she was slowly winning me back. Now with a full stomach and higher blood sugar she didn't seem to be all that bad. I guess we are all entitled to bad days.

Overall it was excellent! I can’t wait to go back and try something that actually has some OX in it. May be in the end it was just me. I guess I will never know and you’ll just have to find out for yourself.

No one is perfect, and yes if it were my restaurant I would have fired that person (or given them one hell of a talking to!).  Cause for one, the customer pays your bills and does not deserve any attitude - second don't bite the hand that feeds you. With that said... MEAT ME!

P.S. I tipped more than 15% because technically... the service wasn’t bad, it just came with an attitude.

You can find out more info on the Lazy Ox Canteen@
http://lazyoxcanteen.com/





It's the truth,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME

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reMEAT - the Waffle

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Being up till late hours of the morning I rarely get the chance to enjoy a breakfast.  So the other day the stars just happen to align and I was given that chance. I couldn’t really thing of anything that was really striking my fancy so I went with the Waffle. I didn’t really feel I like I gave it much justice since it was my first blog write up. I new I ultimately had to get what I got before but some how make it better.

I showed up everything was almost exactly where I left it. I went back to the same counter seat and settled up for what I was hoping was going to be an awesome ride.  All the possible combinations running through my head, but what sticks out is the bacon. Then it clicks. Biscuits and gravy sub the biscuits for waffles and add bacon on top. That was it… the cosmos was now aligned.

The server came, I told her word for word what I wanted, and again got that same look. You know kind of like when a dog tilts its head after you have told it to get you a beer. I said, “Yep that is exactly what I want!”, and to save her time, “Yea not on the side, put it right on top!”.

Perfect! I had no idea what to do while I waited so I ordered the chocolate shake. it too was just as impressive as seeing Mount Everest itself. Super chocolately chocolateness with whip cream fluffed on top, drizzled with chocolate syrup. I was pretty hungry so I knew it wouldn’t be a problem of consumption

So in a matter of minutes I had the mountain of glory. It’s impressiveness what enough to quiet the entire room as the server brought it towards me. After the first bite, I was not only was it just as glorious as last time it had the sound of a choirs singing praise after every bite. The formula was the same except for one more thing, the bacon. The emotions went from salty, to sweet, and then back to salty. That was it! Finally my infinite circle of happiness was all mine.

Once again I could not finish, but marvel rather at it's ingenious existence.

Oh the waffle how you always deliver each time more than the last. So it there is anything I could add to this experience or any for that matter. Just when you think it is perfect, push it a little bit further,  and you might just surprise yourself at how clever you can MEAT ME.

You can read about my previous visit @
http://meatmeblog.blogspot.com/2011/10/yea-sub-biscuits-for-waffles-and-add.html

You can find out more about The Waffle @
http://www.thewaffle.us/Site/Home.html

Think outside the biscuits,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME

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