“I’m not leaving without sticking that Schlong-Dog in my mouth!”

I was in shock. It was the biggest fucking hot dog I had ever seen. I walked into to The Fat Dog and I asked the waitress what food they were known for? She mentioned a few things, we ordered, we sat down and the guy sitting next to us gets this GINORMOUS hot dog. I’m in shock! He looks at me and says, “Yea want to take a pictures of this?”

I pointed my camera in the air snapped a few photos and when the waitress came back I told her I needed to have one of those.

It was a nice Thursday afternoon Laura and I decided to get out. Tons of people have been telling me about this butcher shop on Fairfax called Lindy & Grundy and that I needed to go check it out. The shop opened up about 8 months ago and is run by two young women. The idea is that all the meat is organic and prepared right there in the butcher shop. This place has everything. Lamb bacon, pork bacon, beef bacon, as well aged meat they prepare right there on the spot…

I have been interested in doing an interview with Amelia and Erika to launch my pod cast next year. So I wanted to introduce myself and see if they would entertain the idea of me doing a blog post, photos, and a pod cast. They were a bit busy at the time so Laura and I decided to get something to eat. Next door was a coffee shop called the Commissary and then right next to that was The Fat Dog. Screw it! Let’s check it out.

It was only 3pm so it wasn’t really busy but I could imagine on a Friday night that this place would be hoppin’. We checked out the menu and I saw meat so it was good enough for me. The server said to sit wherever. The booths were nice and big and long. Perfect for the big boys like me.

I asked the server what they were known for on the menu. She said everything was very good, she pointed out the Jalapeño Mac and Cheese. So we got that; you can add hickory-smoked bacon and crab, so of course I added both. She also recommended a dish called “The Flight” it was 3 different mini burgers (1) Bacon & Guacamole (2) Mushroom & Swiss (3) Caramelized Onions & Gruyére. We got that as well and decided to wait and see how we felt afterwards to decide if we might want more (I always want more but she is in charge!).

Our drinks came quick Laura got the Coronado Islander (IPA) and I of course got the epic diet coke. I was told the beer was tasty with a kick but smooth on the way in. Medium, not too heavy, a great compliment to the food, and a perfect excuse for a nap afterwards.

The vibe here is really nice and laid back. They have wifi (password is the phone #) it is not too busy, not dead, but just enough people watching to entertain you while you work. The food came quickly and it looks marvelous. The mac and cheese was nice and stringy with chunks of bacon, minimal crab, and just enough kick to remind you there are jalapeños in it. It is not too wet or dry, but just perfect. Eat it too quickly and it may get a little spicy. Very little crab, not enough for me to get excited over but just enough flavor for sure.

The burgers were nice little handfuls of tastiness. There is a hint of extra flavor in each burger, just enough to go well together, but not enough to have to take a break between. The fries were crisp, thin, and simple. You could tell lots of love went in to those dishes and the cook wanted you to know that.

So as we where sitting there eating I see the waitress walk over to another table near us with a GIANT (at least 18”) hot dog with a bunch of little topping dishes next to it. I mean it was huge… This was the John Holmes of Hot Dogs. You knew it meant business and at the same time couldn’t stop thinking about how phallic it was. I knew right away I wasn’t leaving with out sticking this Schlong-Dog in my mouth.  So the second I saw the server I said, “Yea, I need to have what he is having!”

In minutes I had the most hung hot dog I had ever seen right in front of me. Lets just say yea Laura was jealous. She was already full from all the food so sneaking a bite wasn’t an option. The dog came with a side of ketchup, mustard, onions, pepperoncini, relish, and jalapeños. The flavor wasn’t anything special, it was your typical beef hot dog and standard bun, but all in all it was a complete blast.

The whole experience was awesome. The fun getting to take on something that everybody is starting at. That is what I call “Shock Food” people come from all over just to see someone eat it. The only issue is more often than not it ends up being all about the shock value and not about the flavor. I just wish there was some flavor pay off to eating this gigantic hot dong.

If I am going to get stared at for shoving something that big in my mouth I at least want the taste to be the pay off. Unfortunately I was not able to finish, but left with just a few scraps on the table.

So if it is not always about the prize, and more about the journey along the way I recommend you journey to The Fat Dog and see if you can finish this impressive beast of a hot dog… And if you can’t you can go MEAT ME!

For more information on The Fat Dog go to:
http://www.thefatdogla.com/hollywood.html
Twitter https://twitter.com/thefatdogla

I went back to Lindy and Grundy and they are totally into the idea of doing a feature with me. So make sure you look for that next month. In the mean time you can check them out at:
http://lindyandgrundy.com/index.htm
Twitter https://twitter.com/lindyGrundy

Me Love You Long Dog,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

Secrets Revealed: The Path To Chili Enlightenment

Featuring Doze the guest master himself. Ever since I was in high school I have always had a love for music. Some of my fondest memories were in band. I played the tuba and I was proud of it. I was not your typical band dork (at least I like to think that). I was in great shape, on occasion I rode a motorcycle and I carried the appetite of the entire band on my shoulders. On Wednesday nights we had band practice from 5 to 8:30pm. What was a high schooler to do with all that time? Study? Nope, EAT!  

My band director and mentor Marcos Mendoza (aka Doze) shared my love for food and music. Often times there were only a hand full of us hanging out after school waiting for practice. Doze would offer to take us out for food. These places included McDonalds, In-N-Out, and Tommy’s. I remember on one occasion I wanted to get a 9 by 9 at In-N-Out Burger, he thought I as crazy and said, “If you eat the whole thing I will pay for it.”

Not only did I finish this thing I got French fries and a drink to show I had the gut for glory. I have so many fond memories of not being able to move during practice because of what I ate for dinner. Like any champ I never had any issues with it coming back up. Unless you count the time the wrestling team turned me upside down into a trash can (which was not by choice) I had a perfect record. The unfortunate benefits of having the band room next to the weight room.

Thanks to playing tuba any cool factor I may have possessed was gone. Food challenges were nothing to be ashamed of. In high school you might be able to make fun of me but I could have devoured your lunch before you were done beating me up.

Since I have started this blog I knew it was missing something and that thing was advise of Doze. He taught me everything I know about eating at Tommy’s. When I was a young freshmen in high school we often went on afternoon trips to Tommy’s. Being the noob that I was I would order the double chili cheese burger with extra chili, chili cheese fries, and a large diet coke. Doze would sit there and laugh at me as bite after bite the chili would fall right off of the burger. This often left me with barley any chili and more meat and cheese than I new what to do with… I would look at Doze and say, “I don’t get it... what am I doing wrong?”

He said, “Oh you have so much to learn young grass hopper!”

And I am thinking what is this guy talking about? He said, “Sean you’re doing it all wrong. Don’t order extra chili on your burger. Your just going to waste it. Order the chili boat (a side of chili) and grab a spoon. Peal back the burger paper, get a spoon full of chili, and put it right on top of the burger before each bite. Do this each time and every bite will be filled with happiness!”

It was like the clouds opened up and I saw the light. From that point on my life had been changed forever. Not only that, but I had extra chili for the fries that did not have any on them. Never was I robbed of chili again.

With eyes wide open I could see the genius that was Doze. I had no idea why all these kids followed him around doing whatever he wanted them to do… The myth of the legend was true... Doze Knows. This man had the answers to everything, and being the sponge that I was... I needed to know.

So what better way to honor and respect him than break chili burgers and diet cokes over dinner. Having read the blog Doze agreed to do dinner and let me share his secrets of chili enlightenment with the world.  I arrived around 8 pm and he was about 30 minutes late. Which is normal and would not have been the same if he was not. We ordered the trifecta. Double chili cheeseburger, mustard, chili cheese only, french fries, and a large diet coke. Not to forget the chili boat with cheese only (for me). In a matter of minutes the food was ready and we carefully escorted it to the table. Doze, the master that he is, grabbed the paper towels. It was bad enough we forgot our bullet proof vest to this part of town… No paper towels could have been fatal!

Step one: Pull the burger paper back. Step two: Get a scoop of chili. Step three: Place the chili right over the area where you are going to bite. Step four: Enjoy! Step five: Repeat steps one thru five. It was awesome! It felt just like that musical montage from Zoolander where all the male models are laughing hysterically and pouring gasoline all over each other. I felt just like that. We looked and smiled at each other after every bite visually confirming the epic-ness of our oral satisfaction. After the second scoop I said, “This is just like reloading a gun…” he replied, “Pointed directly at your heart!” We both laughed.

Tommy’s is so life changing that everybody and there mom is trying to rip them off. There is Tomy’s Tommies, Tomee’s the list goes on forever. There is only one way to know you are at The Original Tommy’s. When you get the chili boat let it sit for about 60 seconds, you will notice a 1/16 of an inch layer of grease over the top of the chili. That is Original Tommy’s. That is the sign of perfection. Not to mention about an hour after you have eaten... you should feel a slight chili hangover. The sign is being a little sluggish in your step.

Our dinner eventually came to an end. As sad as it was for both us, happiness was consuming every ounce of joy on our tray. As time passes some of the best memories I have were over food. To be honest I would not trade it for anything anything in the world.

Who knows what memories our future will hold until we MEAT again.

To find your Original Tommy’s Locations go to
http://www.originaltommys.com/

Meat Memories,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME