Auto Repeat Retards and $6 Dollar Shit!!!

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 Its 12:30 pm in the afternoon. I just woke up after being up till 7am working and my ass is starving. What to do… What. To. Do. I know I am out of diet coke so I have to hit Rite Aid and then who the hell knows.  I am getting ready and Buddy the pit-bull is driving me crazy. He obviously has the “cabin fever” and wants out. Buddy always gets what he wants so he’s going.

Locked up and ready to go we hit the Rite Aid on Sunset and Fairfax. I don’t know if this is a new thing but for the last 2 days they have had a parking attendant. Now if you have ever been to this Rite Aid you would know that this is the most messed up thing that they could ever have done. It takes me 20 minutes to buy a diet coke and now they have just added 10 more. Even when they have cashiers at every counter there is still a line to isle 12. So your wait is usually substantial, but at least you have the weird, the crazy, and the attractively over dressed "people of West Hollywood" to keep you entertained for that first 10 minutes.

So now I am at the register and of course with my enhanced A.D.D., due to lack of sleep, I forget about their wonderful new policy of getting validated. So I have to run out to my car with 48 diet cokes. Look for my ticket, that just happens to be in my back pocket.  Piss off the incompetent attendant who can’t remember that I grabbed a ticket from him 10 minutes ago. Walk back into the store and get greeted “Hello welcome to Rite Aide!” by same auto repeat retard who said “Good Bye” to me 35 seconds ago. All of this leaving me standing in front of all 4 store associates ignoring the fact that I have a mother fucking yellow ticket, that they know damn well, needs a shitty ass stamp. Finally someone stamps me, and now I gotta go hand the attendant the ticket when I should have shoved it directly up his ass!

It shouldn’t say “Rite Aid” out front! It should say, “Come and kill yourself right, the fuck, now!” That is exactly what I wanted to do when I was trying to get out of there. Seriously people... Customer service is 50% of the experience! How many times do I have to say this?

The economy sucks right now! Most people are having a hard time going out and spending money. Especially when it comes to things that they need. If we could make at least, that little bit of an experience, that much more enjoyable. It might just entice us to spend a little more money at the store. How do they expect this economy to ever get better?

Movin’ on. I have better things to do… I thought!

So Buddy and I are headed down Santa Monica Blvd., I need to eat, I may get hostile. Looking… Looking… Looking… Nothin’. I finally get to La Brea and I say, "Screw it Carls Jr. it is!". I am just going to have to take one for the team. At this point I have got a knot for a stomach.

I pull up to the drive thru. Normally I get the Super Star with cheese hold the veggies etc. etc. Nope, this time I need something bigger. Like the $6 Onion, Bacon, Cheeseburger! But do I really want those giant fried onion rings on my burger? I am too tired to say other wise, I can just take them off later. In a matter of seconds they greet me, I order, I get to the window, I am greeted again… Boom! Food in the car and I am ready to go. Ya see how easy that was Rite Aid. 90 seconds and no one got suicidal!!!

Then there was the smell… As you can see Buddy was even like WTF!

So I get home. Buddy’s happy, I’m happy… Kinda. I pull everything out on the counter and that giant $6 burger I was building anticipation for what wasn’t even worth a buck fifty. The patty was half the size of the picture. The bacon was limp and the onion rings were so damn small they couldn’t even double as an engagement ring! So unfortunately FAST FOOD and I are getting a divorce! I have learned my lesson of "guaranteed utter disappointment towards instant oral satisfaction".

At that point I wanted to take the bag and put it over my head.

The taste was not horrible, but neither is tooth-paste and you would never eat that. Ever! I did not finish this meal and hopefully this shit burger, wrapped in shit paper, in this shit bag will never touch my lips ever again!

So chances are, if it looks like shit, smells like shit, and takes as long as a shit… The shit probably ain’t worth it, and if you disagree... you can MEAT ME!

You can visit Rite Aid @
http://www.valettakesitintheass.com

You can visit Carl’s Jr @
http://www.justshitinyourownmouth.com

No, Thank you,
Sean Rice aka MEAT ME!

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Back to Basix with Buddy!!! - Basix Café

So today I was so cutely woken up by Mr. Buddy. Buddy is always the first one up and our household. Knowing that I had gone to sleep at 3:30 am I knew if I was getting up to walk him, I was getting breakfast at the same time. Boom! 2 birds, 1 stone! Done.

Once Buddy has his mindset on something there is pretty much no changing it! So off to Basix Café we go. As soon as were out the front gate Buddy's instinct tells him to attack a couch. And in West Hollywood, if are going to put a couch on the side walk at least make it look good and make sure your creative!

Now Basix is one of those places that can change depending on what day of the week and time you go. Don’t think moody girlfriend kind of change... think game day Dodger Stadium kind of change. Its either packed on a Sunday morning with a 30 – 40 minute wait, or like our Tuesday morning. No one there, a hand full of chatty tables, and that’s it.

There are also 3 different types of vibes to this place. Which I think is really nice depending on who your company is. They have the in doors… its nice, have a conversation, like a coffee shop. The front patio… its loud, lots of cars, and people watching is great; for an evening or bloody mary’s on a Sunday… with pets (just like Church). Or... you have the side patio (sorry no drinks), pets allowed near a side street… also quiet. It says "tropical island motif" (just a little).

We decided to go with the side patio. No one around to attack or bark at… Good Boy! Yes! He looks cute but he is afraid of everything... even awnings and table umbrellas. The servers here are always very attentive and never leave you hangin'.  The restaurant is what I would call “straight friendly”. I really don't have a P.C. way of saying it. We all call it “Gay Town”, and the straight are just as welcome!

 I am even starting to feel as if they love me here. Now every time I come here they always offer you a bowl of water for you fury companion. If they don’t... just ask and they would be more than glad to help you.

Now what to order… There really isn’t a bad item on the menu. This restaurant has a lot of healthy options (wait keep reading) but they also have a lot of dishes that favor taste over calories. It’s the morning. I have had 6 hours of sleep and I need something to energize me. So the Egg White Power Omelet is what I am going to have… but I will have hold the spinach and onions (see power gone). I am left with the egg whites, sausage, bacon (apple wood smoked by the way), and cheese. For the sides... I requested the potatoes and the english muffins.

The waiter arrives with my diet coke and water. I order, and away he goes as if fiercely walking down a fashion runway… I love it! When a server takes your order to the kitchen with that much confidence, it really makes me feel like I ordered the right thing.

So as I wait for my food I see an Anderson Cooper look-a-like running down the street and talking to some kids. In one of the photos it even looks like Jack from Lost stopped by... just to see if anyone needed a doctor. It kinda felt like I was watching breaking news of the earthquake in Haiti (God bless them). Except it was West Hollywood and very awkward. You see… people don’t run in this city unless their jogging, it ruins their side walk presence. Secondly, you never see kids on the street, or in this town… EVER. It is as rare as seeing Jesus walk up and down the streets (by the way there is a man who looks and dresses just like Jesus, who walks... up and down... the streets).

Yea! Buddy waggs his tail. Foods here! And he’s not getting any! Sorry Bud!  It looks like perfection. Everything is placed exactly where it belongs. The muffins are crispy and soft at the same time. The potatoes have just enough spices to hit the spot and the omelet is like a loaded freight train headed right for my stomach. Pure bliss bite... after bite. I love it… but wait... its missing something… “Tap-a-fucking-tio”!!!  Hot sauce! It needs hot sauce!

Now here is the deal with Tapatio at this place. They don’t “carry” it. For some reason they don’t. But… If you ask, the'll bitch a little, and then the'll go get it from the valet guys because they keep a little bottle of Tapatio in their valet stand! God Bless Them!

This time I didn't ask, I was just too hungry. So don't get me wrong it is still amazingly good. Now that I am loaded all up like a big rig, for a little over $14 with tip, they send me... and Buddy... a-packin’.

It’s time for the dreaded walk up the hill, but luckily... I have the dog to pull me. Thanks Buddy!

So what did I learn from my experience…

All you need is good service, good food, and good company! It sounds to me like they got it right, by going back... to the Basix (wink)… so MEAT ME!

You can find out more about Basix Café at

http://www.basixcafe.com/

8333 Santa Monica Blvd.

West Hollywood, CA 90069

Follow @meatmeblog

Thank you

Sean Rice

aka MEAT ME!